


Tell me why you love me

by botiot



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Heavy Angst, Hospitals, I'm Sorry, Karasuno, M/M, OTP Feels, Serious Injuries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-28
Updated: 2016-08-02
Packaged: 2018-05-29 17:39:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6385909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/botiot/pseuds/botiot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>His own nerves were to be expected: today was a big day after all, and everyone was a little bit nervous, no matter how calm and collected they usually were. That was the thing about new tournaments, there was a sense of unpredictability that had everyone on edge. That, however, was not the root of Kageyama’s anxiety. It contributed, sure, but as per usual the main cause of his nervousness was his boyfriend, Hinata Shouyou.</p><p>A problem that starts off small escalates into something life-changing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Kagehina chapter fic yay
> 
> I wanted to attempt something a bit longer and idk how it turned out
> 
> Also, prepare for angst omg.
> 
> EDIT: 1000 hits???? Wtf guys that's amazing thank you so so so so much for taking the time to even click on this thing seriously

Kageyama tapped his fingers anxiously on the volleyball, unable to stop from pacing the length of the gym in his impatience. His own nerves were to be expected: today was a big day after all, and everyone was a little bit nervous, no matter how calm and collected they usually were. That was the thing about new tournaments, there was a sense of unpredictability that had everyone on edge. That, however, was not the root of Kageyama’s anxiety. It contributed, sure, but as per usual the main cause of his nervousness was his boyfriend, Hinata Shouyou.

Out of all the days in the world to be late, Hinata could not have picked a worse one. The League Tournament involved the top teams from each prefecture playing each other twice each: once at home, and once away. Points were awarded depending on how many sets you played, the amount of substitutions you made, and whether you were playing in your own gym, or in someone else’s. It was complicated, and confusing, and a little scary, but all of the teams involved had decided to play their best – as if there was any other level to play at. Today marked the beginning of the tournament, and the first match, Karasuno versus Fukurodani, was to be held in their own gym, so naturally the team had all decided to make their own ways to the school, and naturally Hinata had decided to pick this day to fuck up royally. Their pre-match warm-up had started twenty minutes ago, the match itself due to begin in ten minutes, and nobody had heard a word from Hinata all morning. Kageyama had been sending him angry texts and voicemails telling him to get his ass here as soon as possible, but received no response. Needless to say, tensions were climbing fast among the Karasuno teammates, and Daichi was dangerously close to smiling, Sugawara bouncing around him tentatively and doing his best to placate him.

“Calm down Daichi, I’m sure he’ll be here soon.” Sugawara pleaded, laying a gentle hand on his shoulder and offering his trademark angelic smile.

“What the hell is taking him so long?” Said Daichi tightly, somehow immune to Suga’s charm.

“He cycles right? Maybe he got stuck in traffic.” Tanaka suggested.

Daichi looked as if he wanted to punch Tanaka right in the face, “He’s on a _bicycle_.”

“So what?”

“So he can just _cycle between the cars._ ” Daichi mumbled through gritted teeth, stepping right up close to Tanaka’s face and trying his best to loom over him despite being a centimetre shorter.

“Doesn’t anyone have some way of contacting him?” Suga asked desperately, looking around helplessly at the group of boys gathered around him as Tanaka and Daichi bickered in the background, “Daichi may actually kill someone at this rate.”

Noya glanced over Suga’s shoulder at the squabbling teammates and pressed his hands together in prayer, “Rest in peace Ryu.”

Ennoshita mimicked his actions, “You will be missed.”

“That’s not helping you two!”

“Hey hey hey, where’s the little shrimp? Isn’t he playing today?” Bokuto asked the group, wandering over and slinging his arm around Daichi’s neck, seemingly inattentive of the heavy atmosphere. Akaashi, having followed his captain like a chaperone, was thankfully far more understanding of the situation, and unhooked Bokuto’s arm from around Daichi, whose mouth was twitching dangerously at the corners.

“Don’t bother Sawamura-san Bokuto, you’re being rude.” He pushed the taller boy back towards his own team where more understanding hands grabbed him and towed him further away before he could do any more damage. Akaashi, bowing an apology, followed, presumably to reprimand Bokuto even further.

“Pfft. Daichi looks so small next to Bokuto.” Tanaka laughed.

“Tanaka you little–” And they were fighting once again. It was miracle that neither of them had laid a hand on each other yet, though from the looks of things, Daichi was seriously considering ripping his Kouhai a new one.

Kageyama stepped away from the group and pulled out his phone for the millionth time today, sandwiching the volleyball between his wrist and his waist as he dialled Hinata’s number once again. He waited as the repetitive, monotonous beeps droned on intermittently, praying that this time he’d hear some flicker of response at the other end, his worries only growing as time went on. He was just about to give up when he heard the receiver crackle violently, and Hinata’s voice screeching into his ear, _“Kageyama? KAGEYAMA?!? CAN YOU HEAR ME?!”_ Judging from the crackling of the receiver and Hinata’s heavy panting, he must have been on his bike, and pedalling furiously from the sound of it.

“You’re too loud dumbass!” Kageyama shouted back even louder, turning the heads of the rest of the team.

“Dumbass?”

“Must be Hinata.”

The team rushed over to crowd around him – well all except Daichi and Tanaka, who were still arguing – and Kageyama put the phone on speaker so that they could all hear Hinata wittering endless apologies mixed with excuses.

_“…so so so sorry I was up really early but there was a volleyball match on TV and the Little Giant was playing so it must have been a repeat but I couldn’t stop watching it he was so amazing and then, uwaaaah–!”_

For a moment Hinata’s voice quietened as he yelled an apology to someone behind him, and then he was back to gushing non-stop about his entire morning, _“By the time I realised what was happening it was already 8:30 and I tried to get ready as soon as possible but then I forgot most of my volleyball stuff and I had to go back and…”_

All of the colour seemed to have gone out of Suga’s face, “Hinata focus on the road you’re going to hurt yourself.”

Hinata ignored him, once again shouting out more apologies. Kageyama tried to calm his boyfriend down a little, “Hinata, how soon can you get here?”

_“I’m on the main road right now–”_

Suga’s face dropped even further and he reached out to Ennoshita to steady himself, “Main road.” He whimpered.

_“–I can make it in ten minutes.”_

The rest of the team seemed to relax a little at this news, and began to trickle away from the conversation and resume their warm up (or to break up Tanaka and Daichi in Suga and Ennoshita’s case). Kageyama turned off speaker and stepped a little further away from the team as he raised the phone to his ear again, “Hinata…um…”

 _“Huh?...What?”_ Hinata panted.

“Just…get here soon okay?” He wanted to say that he missed him, that the weekend had been almost unbearable because Kageyama had been desperate to see his stupid face, and that the realisation of those feelings had been terrifying yet relieving…but he couldn’t. Despite having been dating for over three months, he couldn’t express his feelings for the one person he felt strongest for, and that frustrated him no end.

Hinata’s breathy laugh wavered through the receiver, and Kageyama could practically hear the smile in his voice as he said, _“Don’t worry, I’ll be right there!”_ It still amazed him how Hinata – despite being incredibly dumb at times – could somehow decipher his strange code of affection better than he could himself.

“You’d better hurry if you want to play volleyball dumbass.” Kageyama said in a small voice, utterly failing at stopping the smile from spreading across his face.

_“Oi, don’t you dare start without me–”_

His sentence was cut off by a large static crackle that was so loud that the volleyball Kageyama was holding dropped to the floor as he covered his ear with his free hand and held the phone away from him at arms length. The noise was followed by an eerily still silence in the gym as everyone turned towards the phone in astonishment, which was now emitting various echoic shouts and a mixture of other strange noises that sounded like scuffling feet and cars screeching to a stop.

“What the fuck was that?” Tanaka said to no one in particular, everyone leaning in closer to the phone as if hoping to hear an explanation for noises emanating from the small object.

Movement sounded louder at the other end of the line as the phone was picked up, and Kageyama felt uneasy as he once again pressed the speaker button and called out into the mic, “Hinata?”

“Is that the kid with the orange hair? Do you know him?” The man’s voice sounded panicked and flustered and Kageyama’s uneasiness turned into nausea as Sugawara answered him.

“Yes, we’re his friends, is he okay?” He grabbed Kageyama’s arm and bent even closer to the phone, the worry clearly present in his voice.

“I didn’t even see him, he just dashed out right in front of me. I tried to slow down I swear but before I knew it I’d hit him–”

The phone slipped out of Kageyama’s hand, and all he could do was stare in shock, Suga’s hand clenching even harder on his arm to keep him upright as he stumbled backwards.

The phone had been quickly scooped up by Ennoshita, who was now nodding as the man told him everything that had happened. “Right…I understand...we’ll be there as soon as possible…yes…thank you.”

He hung up the phone and turned back towards the team, his face pale and grave, and Kageyama knew what he was going to say before he even opened his mouth. The nausea only spread like a toxic gas through Kageyama’s stomach, and for a moment he feared that he might actually be sick.

 _Don’t say it,_ he prayed, _please don’t say it, if you say it that means it’s true, it can’t be true, not him, not Hinata._

But all too soon Ennoshita uttered the ultimatum, and Kageyama could no longer ignore what had happened.

“Hinata was hit by a car.”

***

Kageyama hated waiting. He’d never been the most patient person, and with the added pain and burden of his emotions, Kageyama’s impatience was multiplied a hundred times over. The aftermath of Hinata’s accident involved a lot of waiting. Minutes spent waiting for Hinata’s family to arrive to explain what had happened to them, hours spent waiting for the doctors to figure out exactly what was wrong with Hinata, weeks spent waiting to be allowed into his hospital room. By far the worse kind of waiting, however, was waiting for Hinata to wake up.

It was almost unbearable to see him lying there, so still and devoid of his usual energy and enthusiasm that Kageyama had come to adore. He found himself staring at every inch of Hinata’s body intently, eyes brushing over his small yet deft fingers and trailing over his soft lips and long eyelashes, desperately hoping to catch him twitch or blink, searching hopelessly for some sort of sign that he was still there. Every ounce of his free time was devoted to him, even to the extent where he would take his homework to the hospital and do it there instead of at home.

He wasn’t sure why he tortured himself by visiting the hospital every day, maybe it had something to do with that feeling he got whenever he laid eyes on Hinata, that feeling like all of the tensions were suddenly released and that he was where he was supposed to be, like he was _home_. There were days when he couldn’t sit still, where he’d be pacing up and down at the end of Hinata’s bed or glaring out of his window, muttering quietly to himself all the while. There were days when he couldn’t move, when he lost himself in his own thoughts and stared at Hinata’s face for hours on end, perfectly content to just be near him. But no matter where he was, how good or bad his day had been, or how tired and drained he felt, his first thought was always with Hinata.

He watched visitors come and go. Hinata’s relatives, his volleyball teammates, a few classmates, friends from junior high, old family friends, he watched them all leave, their eyes red and puffy from tears that Kageyama just couldn’t seem to conjure. Soon enough, Hinata’s bedside was overflowing with gifts: get-well-soon cards, endless bouquets of flowers, chocolates and sweets, collections of small plushies and toys. Kageyama kept meaning to get him something, but every time he went to the shop with exactly that in mind, he found himself wandering aimlessly among the aisles, completely at a loss, a tight feeling in his stomach as he thought of Hinata’s smiling face.

He wanted see that face again so badly. He wanted to look into Hinata’s eyes as he smiled at him, to hold his hand, feel his fingers threaded through his own, see his cheeks dyed pink with excitement. He wanted to wrap his arms around him and bury his face in his hair and breathe in his scent. He wanted to kiss him, on the cheek, on those delicate lips of his, his neck, his back, his chest. He wanted to run his hands up and down his sides, hear him giggle at his gentle touch, feel his thumping pulse as they pressed their bodies so close together they were almost a single entity. He wanted it so much that he found himself collapsed on the floor, knees weak, an ache in his heart and a lump in his throat as he imagined Hinata laughing beside him, cheeks flushed, eyes glittering, and so ridiculously _alive_ that Kageyama wondered how he could bear another second without it.

What he wouldn’t give to see Hinata’s smile just one more time.

***

“Kageyama?”

He started, accidently disturbing Hinata’s sister, Natsu, as she dozed peacefully in his lap, “Um…yes?”

Hinata’s mother gently lifted Natsu out of his arms and placed her on the floor, keeping hold of her small hand as she blinked herself awake, “We’ll be leaving now.”

“Right.” Kageyama replied far too curtly. He was still nervous around Hinata’s family, despite having encountered them numerous times, both in the hospital room and out.

Hinata’s mother just smiled gently, “You should go home, get some rest. You’re so good being here every day, but you should take care of yourself too. Would you like me to drive you?” She’d been somewhat protective of Kageyama lately, insisting that she let her treat him to dinner, and drive him home late in the evening, and whilst he was grateful for her kindness, he was often unsure as to how he should respond.

This time, he shook his head, “Thank you for the offer, but I think I’ll stay a little longer.”

She nodded, understanding.

“Bye Tobio-nii-chan.” Natsu muttered, rotating her hand in a little wave as her mother tugged her out of the room. She’d started calling him that from the moment they’d met, and Kageyama had let her, feeling honoured and somewhat endeared by her smile and energy that was so similar to her brother’s. In many ways, he felt responsible for her, doing his best to act like the big brother she believed him to be, that Hinata would have wanted him to be. He’d been trying to get Kageyama to meet his family for ages, and Kageyama had refused, too worried that he’d make a bad first impression as he had done with so many people in the past. Now, he was happy to have met them, but only wished they could have met under different circumstances.

As soon as they’d left, Kageyama turned his gaze back to Hinata’s bed. It was late and he was exhausted, but he couldn’t bring himself to leave just yet. _Just a little bit longer_ , he told himself, much like he did every evening until the nurses came and kicked him out because visiting hours had ended half and hour ago. He still had some time left today though, enough time to sit and stare a little bit longer.

His hand sneaked up to hold Hinata’s, clasping tightly around Hinata’s limp fingers. His head drooped so that it rested on Hinata’s chest, and Kageyama listened for his heartbeat, closing his eyes as he heard the steady but slow thump of Hinata’s pulse.

 _He’s still here_.

He stayed like that until he lost all concept of time, his consciousness slipping away as he fell asleep to the tune of Hinata’s heart.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waking up the second time was much easier than the first. His body still ached and his eyes were sticky with sleep but the pain was bearable, and it only took him a few blinks to regain his vision. He was groggy and a little disorientated, but he was awake, and that was the important thing.
> 
>  
> 
> Hinata wakes yay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter two yaya
> 
> Thanks to everyone for all the nice comments on the last chapter, you're all amazing <3

Hinata’s eyes opened slowly, his eyelids unnaturally stiff and the light filtering through too bright and piercing for him to actually see anything.

_It hurts._

His senses were coming back one by one; the ringing in his ears being replaced by shrill beeping; a stale taste emerging in his mouth; a sharp, clean smell grating against his nostrils.

_It hurts._

His sight was coming back now. He could make out the stark, electric lights hanging from the…wall? No, from the ceiling. He was lying down. A tingling that shot all along his body told him that he was regaining feeling in his limbs, his fingers twitching involuntarily as he pushed his eyelids open even further.

 _It hurts_.

His chest felt heavy. Absurdly heavy, as if there was a weight pressing down on him, holding him down. He tried to raise his head to see what it was, struggling as he strained his weak muscles to lift himself up. He just about made out a roughly circular object pressing down on him on the left side of his chest before his head sank back down hard, pounding and throbbing so violently he almost blacked out. His fingers twitched again, harder this time, coming into contact with something soft nestled in his palm. He held his fingers there, running the tips up and down the object as he tried to work out what it was.

_It–_

The object on his chest shifted, lifting itself up to hover directly over him. Hinata squinted as he tried to make out what it was. His fingers discovered that the thing in his palm was a hand, its grip tightening as the object – head? – peered down at him.

“H-Hinata?”

The low yet soft sound seemed to reverberate throughout his whole body. That voice. He knew that voice. That was a voice he could pick out anywhere, no matter how disorientated he may be. The name formed his in head, and he pried his lips apart in an attempt at speaking, “Ka…y…ma” It came out as barely more than a whisper, his throat burning as he sucked in air through his dry lips and his chest heaving as he tried to gasp out the word again.

“Shh. Don’t speak, I’ll get help, just wait here.” The voice said hurriedly. 

The hand slipped from his before he could even think about clenching his fingers to stop it, and he tried to call the name again and again, each attempt stronger than the last until he finally, _finally_ , called out:

“Kageyama!”

He broke out in a coughing fit, his chest burning and his body heaving as he choked and gasped. All at once he felt several hands pushing him back down to the soft surface he was lying against, holding him in place as he recovered his breath in long, deep gasps.

“Kag…am…a” He spluttered out between breaths as his entire body throbbed and ached painfully. He felt a hand slip into his again, its warmth seeping into him, calming him, as he recovered his strength.

“It’s okay. I’m here." 

He closed his eyes, grasping the hand as tightly as his weak muscles would allow him to, Kageyama giving his hand a gentle, reassuring squeeze in return. He could feel himself drifting off again and fought hard to stay awake, but no matter how hard he tried his eyes drooped shut as if they were magnetised.

The darkness seeped in from all sides, and the last thing Hinata felt was the small, wet drops of water pattering onto his wrist and fingers as his consciousness faded away. 

*** 

Waking up the second time was much easier than the first. His body still ached and his eyes were sticky with sleep but the pain was bearable, and it only took him a few blinks to regain his vision.  He was groggy and a little disorientated, but he was awake, and that was the important thing.

Several doctors drifted in and out of the room, asking him questions about what he remembered, where it hurt, how he was feeling. Hinata wasn’t really paying attention. He just wanted the hours to pass by faster so he could see his family again…so he could see Kageyama again. 

_Will he come?_

No matter how hard he tried to ignore it, the question kept repeating over and over in his head, a bubble of anxiety welling up in his stomach as he agonised over the different possibilities. How long had he been asleep? Did Kageyama still like him in the same way? What if…what if he’d found somebody else? The uncertainty made him and to curl up and bury himself under the blankets, but his heavy and pain-stricken body wouldn’t move the way he wanted it too, and his legs didn’t seem to be responding the way they normally did. His body’s unnatural slowness was so frustrating for him, his mind bouncing around in a thousand different directions at once whilst his body lay immobile and essentially useless, unable to replicate the energetic activity pulsing in his head.

The hours passed excruciatingly slowly, but they passed nonetheless, although not fast enough for Hinata to ignore the problems he was having with his body. Soon enough however, his little sister was bounding into the room, closely followed by his parents. It felt so good to see them, so reassuring. Natsu immediately jumped up onto the bed and nestled next to him, her soft hair tickling his neck as she tucked herself under his chin. She babbled non-stop about everything he’d missed while he’d been asleep as his mother stroked his hair affectionately and his father tried to blink the tears out of his eyes.

“One time, Tobio-nii-chan–”

Hinata jerked upwards in shock, sending shockwaves of pain shooting all across his body, “Tobio-nii-chan?!” He spluttered.

Natsu just blinked at him, “What?”

“Nothing.” He replied, unable to hide a little smile as he pictured Kageyama’s terrified face during an interaction with Natsu.

He contemplated telling them exactly what was wrong with him, but he decided against it. They didn’t need to be put under anymore stress than they were already suffering with, they should at least enjoy a brief period of time where everything is okay, where Hinata is recovering wholly and healthily and not…having problems.  

A little later on, Hinata was listening to Natsu explain in incredible detail the exact inter-space adventure she’d had the other day whilst playing with her friends when he heard someone cough uncertainly from the doorway. He craned his neck to see who it was, and he felt his heart skip faster automatically at the sight of Kageyama standing there, slightly sweaty from practice, eyes staring unwaveringly at him.

“Tobio-nii-chan!” Natsu exclaimed, immediately clambering off the bed and running over to give him a hug. Kageyama dragged his eyes down to the small figure clinging to his waist, and patted her gently on the head. Hinata’s already quickened heart rate seemed to be increasing even further at the sight of Kageyama being affectionate and gentle towards someone, a sight he rarely got to see.

“Hello.” He bowed his head in greeting to Hinata’s parents and they smiled back at him. Hinata had to wonder what their first meeting would have been like, and was hit with a pang of sadness as he realised just how much he would have liked to be there to witness it.

“Um…” Kageyama glanced uncertainly around the room, taking in the people standing around Hinata’s bed, “I don’t think we’ll all be able to fit.”

Hinata’s brow creased in confusion, until he heard the various shouts and yells emanating from the hallway and finally understood.

His parents seemed to understand in the same moment, “We’ll give you some room." 

“We can come back later–” 

“Don’t worry about it.” His father said, leaning forward to kiss Hinata on the forehead. His mother did the same before speaking to Natsu.

“Say goodbye to your brother.”

Natsu straddled his chest and hugged him tight around the neck, and Hinata managed to raise his arms to return the gesture, “Bye Onii-chan.” She muttered, refusing to let go of him until his mother bent down to lift her off him.

Once they’d left Kageyama stepped into the room followed by a surge of Karasuno volleyball club members. All Hinata could do was smile weakly as he was hit with the undeniable wall of energy emanating from the group. To his surprise, the entire club had shown up, even Tsukishima, though he was standing close to the door and fingering his headphones as if he wanted to pull them over his head to block out the sheer noise. Either that or murder everyone in the room with them, he was never sure with Tsukishima.

Questions came at him from every direction, and Hinata simply lay there overwhelmed until Daichi yelled, “Everyone be quiet!” and the noise gradually dissipated.

“First of all, I’m glad to see you’re awake and well Hinata.” He said, and everyone nodded enthusiastically in agreement, “Now, everyone you can say your piece, but please one at a time, Hinata do you mind?”

“No, not at all.” He shifted himself up a little in his bed until he could see the whole group more clearly.

Sugawara went first, “How are you feeling Hinata?”

 _Does he want the standard answer, or the truth?_ “I’m…tired.” He said with a little laugh, sparking up chuckles around the team, “But I’m okay.”

“Does it hurt?” Nishinoya asked, leaning forward on the bed as he waited expectantly for an answer.

_Should I tell them?_

“Sometimes.” He replied, watching the group avoid eye contact uncomfortably, of gaze at him with pity, “In some places more than others.” He muttered, more to himself than the others, but not quietly enough.

“What do you mean?” Tanaka asked.

Hinata could feel the tension thicken in the crowded room, “Oh…well…you know…” He searched desperately for an answer that didn’t involve telling them the truth, he was soon saved by Ennoshita whacking Tanaka on the back of the head.

“Stop making him uncomfortable.”

Everyone laughed at Tanaka’s shocked expression, and the tension that had been tightening seemed to lift as everyone asked their questions and showered him with even more gifts. 

Soon enough it was just Tsukishima and Kageyama left to speak. Tsukishima bluntly declined the opportunity to ask him a question, choosing instead to offer the stark comment of, “It’s been much quieter without you at practice, please don’t recover too quickly.”

Nishinoya and Tanaka berated him about being rude towards his teammate, but Hinata didn’t mind. After all, Tsukishima hadn’t told him not to recover, and he felt oddly touched at the notion.

Once the arguments had died down, everyone turned to Kageyama. Of all the questions and comments, Kageyama’s was the one he felt most nervous about. _What will he say? What does he want me to say?_  

Kageyama merely uttered a single question: “When will you come back to volleyball?” 

_Dammit._

Of course it had to be Kageyama that asked the one question he’d been doing his best to avoid. It had to be Kageyama, the only person he couldn’t bring himself to lie to. When faced with his intense and honest stare, there was no way he could even skirt around the truth.

 _I have to tell them…I have to tell_ him _…_

He avoided Kageyama’s eyes as he spoke, too afraid he’d lose his nerve and break down if he stared right at him, “Maybe never.”

Silence.

“What do you mean?”

The shock and hurt that tinged Kageyama’s voice was almost enough to make him burst into tears. He sniffed heavily, swallowing his tears as he looked carefully at each member of the team he loved so much, the players he cared so much for. Finally, he looked to Kageyama, he stared right back at those navy blue eyes and spoke the words he’d been suppressing so hard that speaking them made his shoulders feel practically weightless.

“I can’t feel my legs.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata tries his hand at walking, which fails

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't updated in ages i'm so sorry, i left the last chapter on a really mean cliffhanger too oops.  
> This was going to be longer but it would have taken me even longer to upload so i decided to upload it as is for now.  
> This may seem like a huge time jump from the last chapter, but Hinata tends to exaggerate, and i still have loads more ideas that i want to write so it's not going to stop here.  
> Also the comments people have been leaving are so nice and i totally was not expecting that on this fic especially so thank you omg.

Hinata gripped the bars tightly, taking deep breaths as he sized up the path before him. It wasn’t far, about five metres, but to him it felt like miles.

When he had first suggested to the doctors that he wanted to start rehabilitation exercises as soon as possible, he’d been absolutely convinced that it would work, that he would magically recover in almost no time at all and return to his normal life. That hadn’t happened of course. It was a long and painful process, and Hinata’s frustration with himself was increasing infinitely. Thankfully, after several weeks of being bound to a wheelchair and enduring endless sessions of repetitive exercises, he was starting to feel something. A dull ache that seemed to throb faintly in his joints whenever he attempted to move them. It wasn’t much, he knew that, but at least it was _something._

He had immediately demanded that he attempt walking, much to his doctor’s apprehension, but Hinata was determined. There was no way he was going to let this beat him. He still had a dream, a dream he was so close to achieving, and he wasn’t about to stop just because he’d hit another hurdle.

At least, that’s what he’d thought. Looking at the stretch of padded floor lined with bars that had been adjusted specially for his height, he could help but feel a little daunted at the prospect of actually walking. He wanted to, he _desperately_ wanted to, but he knew far more than most that sheer willpower was never enough.

Kageyama’s hand prodded him in the stomach, and he jerked out of his reverie to try and glare at him, which was a little difficult given that his back was pressed to Kageyama’s front, the taller boy supporting most of his weight as he balanced tentatively on shaky legs.

“What?” He muttered.

He felt Kageyama’s hands settle back to their spot on his waist, “You’re not going to fall, I’ve got you.”

“I know that.” Hinata huffed, “Just…just give me a minute, okay?”

“Whenever you’re ready.”

Hinata was thankful that Kageyama couldn’t see the blush rising in his cheeks, did he _know_ what it did to him when he spoke all smooth and deep like that? He had to admit, Kageyama had been one of the main reasons he was recovering so quickly. When Hinata had first told him about the problem with his legs, he had expected Kageyama to abandon him. After all, what use was he now that he couldn’t use his legs? The only reason he stuck around was because of their magical quick, and that had been rendered completely useless given that he couldn’t even walk. But no. Kageyama had kept coming to the hospital every day, helping him through the rehab exercises, giving him copies of his notes from school so that he didn’t fall too far behind, telling him what was happening with the team, and how the season was going. A part of him wanted to ask Kageyama why he kept coming back, why he didn’t just move on and leave him behind, but the other - more selfish - part of him was glad that Kageyama kept going out of his way to help him. It made him feel…well…loved.

But, there was a limit to how far these things could go, and whilst he was grateful for Kageyama’s support, there was no way he was going to keep leaning on him forever.

He shifted his weight forward so that his arms were carrying all of his weight, and then began to gently lower himself onto his feet. He would have fallen over immediately if it hadn’t been for Kageyama’s strong hands around his waist tipping him upwards to a standing position. Hinata’s breathing started to get heavier, he hadn’t quite realised just how much this was going to hurt.

“It’s okay, I’ve got you.”

Hinata willed his leg to move forward, only managing to lift it a few inches off the floor before it came slamming back down again, as if gravity was set against his manoeuvre. He wobbled a little, but succeeded in keeping himself upright this time, and he took a deep breath as he used his momentum to try and shuffle forward a little more. Inch by inch he was moving forward, his hips beginning to ache from so much movement on such unsteady limbs.

“Hinata, slow down.”

_I can’t stop now, I have to keep going, I have to–_

His legs buckled and he collapsed to the floor, pulling Kageyama down with him before he could stop it. For a moment he just lay there, face down on the padded mats and tried to suppress the shame and helplessness that welled up inside him.

“Hinata, are you okay?” He felt Kageyama shift and place his hands under his arms to lift him almost effortlessly into a sitting position. Kageyama scanned him briefly for injuries before looking back at his face and asking him again if he was hurt. Hinata just shook his head, biting his lip hard and looking away from him in an attempt to keep the tears in.

_No…no no no no no…why?...why won’t it work?...I tried so hard…_

“I think we should–”

“One more time.”

Hinata looked at him imploringly and stretched out his arms to be picked up again. Kageyama sighed reluctantly and hoisted him back to his feet. “Are you sure?” he asked.

Hinata nodded, not entirely trusting his voice to speak right now.

 _I can do this_.

He took another breath and then tried shuffling forwards once more.

_I can–_

Kageyama managed to catch him this time, his arms wrapping around his waist as he fell and carefully lowering him to the floor before sitting down behind him.

Hinata’s vision was blurry.

“Hinata?” Kageyama’s tentative tone sounded muffled and far away. He tried to shake away the tears that were forming, succeeding only in making them spill over onto his cheeks. He sniffed heavily, hands covering his face in embarrassment. He was glad Kageyama was behind him so that he wouldn’t be able to see his tears, and so Hinata didn’t have to see that exasperation that he just _knew_ would be written all over his face.

“Hey, it’s okay.” Kageyama’s voice turned soft, gentle, as Hinata’s sniffs gradually escalated into heaving sobs.

“A-all I wanted to do w-was play v-volleyball.” Hinata gasped, not even trying to stop the tears from flowing anymore. He wanted to run away. He wanted to curl up in a ball and cut himself off from the whole world, but Kageyma’s strong arms tightened around him and he melted, pressing against his warmth as he broke down completely. “Why?!” He sobbed, “Why won’t it work?!”

Kageyama pressed a light kiss to the crown of his head, steadying Hinata’s shaking shoulders and running a comforting hand through his hair, “You love volleyball right?”

“O-of course I do.” He stammered in-between gasps.

“Then you’ll find a way to play, no matter what.” He leaned forward to plant a lingering kiss on Hinata’s cheek, “Don’t give up here. I need you to win at nationals.”

Hinata’s tears stopped as if frozen in his tracks.

_Nationals…_

He sniffed for a final time, wiping the mixture of tears and snot from his face as he rested his head against Kageyama’s firm chest.

“Don’t go without me okay?”

Kageyama smiled, pulling Hinata close, “Never.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kageyama reawakens Hinata's determination to get better

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like the quality of these chapters are slowly decreasing as the fic goes on haha. Oh well, I figured I'd get this one out because I'm going on holiday soon and won't get the chance to write much so here it goes.

“Nice receive Nishinoya!”

“Left, left!”

“Azumane-san!”

“Alright! Asahi nice kill!”

“Time out, please!”

The teams jogged to the sides of the court, gratefully accepting water bottles and towels from the managers as they listened to the coach’s advice. Kageyama drew a long gulp of water and tried to get his breath back, his mind wandering away from coach Ukai’s voice as he wiped his forehead free of sweat and stretched his aching limbs.

The final match of the tournament was going surprisingly well; they were up one set on Shinzen High with a two-point lead in the second set. Kageyama flexed his fingers appreciatively as he mentally recalled all the tosses he’d made that day, noting the times the spike got blocked, why they were blocked, and rating the quality of his toss. He was so lost in his own analysis of the match that he didn’t even hear to coach calling his name until Tanaka elbowed him hard in the ribs, bringing him harshly back to reality.

“Kageyama! You’d better be listening; we’ll be relying on your tosses this set. They have a troublesome block, so don’t lose focus.”

Kageyama nodded, he’d have to find some way of getting around their annoyingly tight defence. Maybe they should use the sides of the court a little more, throw the opponents off by making them travel further to block. With his and Hinata’s newly evolved quick, it shouldn’t be a problem to expand their range a little. He turned, searching for the tell-tale orange fluff of Hinata’s hair before remembering.

_Oh…that’s right…he’s not…_

The referee’s whistle rang out, calling the players to the court once more.

“Alright everyone, win this match and we get a free ticket to nationals. Let’s do this!”

_Nationals…_

“Kageyama, nice serve!”

Kageyama spun the ball in his hand, trying to calm himself down. His limbs felt heavy as he tossed the ball into the air, his feet unusually weighted as he dragged them into a run.

_“Don’t go without me okay?”_

He jumped, feeling the ball push against his palm and the small sting of pain in his hand as he hit it with as much force as he could muster. The smack of the synthetic leather against the gym floor seemed to reverberate, the sound growing in his ears as if it were some sort of warning.

Service ace. Three-point lead.

_“Never.”_

***

Manoeuvring a wheelchair was a lot harder than it seemed. Not that Hinata had ever thought it was easy, he’d just never really considered just how much effort it took, until now that is. After a mere fifteen minutes of pushing himself through the school grounds the muscles in his arms felt like they were on fire, and his hands ached from gripping the wheels so tightly. Hinata yelped in pain as he caught his fingers in the spokes yet again, cursing his clumsiness.

It took him much longer than it should have, but eventually he reached the gym where the volleyball team was no doubt practicing right now. It had been a while since he’d even been in this part of the school. Practice was definitely out of the question for him, and he often had hospital appointments scheduled directly after the end of school, so he’d never had a reason to turn up. If he’d wanted to, he could have made the effort on weekends or during the morning practices…but what was the point? Watching everyone practice would just frustrate him, it would make him miss volleyball even more than he already did, and he was already restless enough. He loved volleyball, but he knew that he was also pretty far behind his teammates in terms of ability. Seeing them improve right before his eyes, seeing them move on without him and leave him behind, he didn’t think he could take it.  

_So, why am I here?_

Hinata positioned himself at the bottom of the steps, facing the grey doors that separated him from the team. He had planned to open them just a crack, just to get a quick peek into how they were doing, but he had forgotten about the steps. His arms were too short to reach them without standing, and getting out of the chair was definitely not an option. He sat there, staring at the building and those metal doors and remembering that time he and Kageyama were kicked out of the club. The doors had been shut then too. Except now Kageyama was inside whilst he was stuck out here, left alone once again with his desperate hopes and dreams.

“This was a stupid idea.” Hinata muttered to himself.

He’d made up his mind to go home when the doors were suddenly thrown open with a resounding clang. Hinata froze in the middle of his movements to see none other that Kageyama standing in the doorway, surprise blinking onto his face as he registered Hinata’s presence.

“Hinata?” He panted, throwing his towel over his shoulder as he gave a small smile. “You’re here.”

He avoided eye contact, fiddling with his fingers as he searched for an excuse, “I-I was just...forgot...stuff…” He mumbled.

Judging from Kageyama’s confused expression, he hadn’t heard a single word of it. He turned behind him to shout into the gym, “Yamaguchi! Come and give me a hand.” Hinata watched apprehensively as Kageyama came down the steps to stand at Hinata’s side and bent down next to him. He had to consciously stop himself from leaning forward to nudge their faces together, biting his lip hard as he observed Kageyama’s expression. He seemed…fidgety, as if he was also trying to stop himself from reaching out and touching him too. The thought of that almost made him blush.

“Put your arm around me.”

That was not what he’d been expecting.

“Um…what?”

Now it was Kageyama avoiding eye contact, “P-Put your arm around my shoulders, dumbass.”

Hinata didn’t really understand, but he tentatively obeyed, leaning close to Kageyama and looping his arm around his neck. In one swift movement, Kageyama lifted him out of the chair and carried him into the gym. Hinata couldn’t even react, he was too stunned and flustered to move.

“Look, it’s King of the Court and his princess!” Tsukishima sniggered as they entered, and Hinata immediately snapped out of his stunned stupor.

“Shut up Tsukishima!” He and Kageyama yelled in perfect synchronisation, only drawing more sniggers from the first year, as well as several of the second years. Hinata felt his cheeks flush and attempted to hide it by burying his face in Kageyama’s shoulder.

“What are you doing?” He asked, trying desperately to suppress his embarrassment, not just at Tsukishima’s comment, but at seeing his teammates and the coach after weeks of ditching practice. He felt ashamed, as if he hardly even deserved to be here after all that had happened.

Kageyama just frowned down at him, “You’re here for volleyball, right?”

Hinata didn’t answer, he just clung on tighter as Kageyama carried him through the gym. He breathed in Kageyama’s scent; a warm, fresh scent mixed with sweat from practice and the smell of the gym that clung to his clothes. A scent that Hinata had now begun to associate with comfort, and happiness.

“You stink.” He murmured, nestling his head into Kageyama’s neck all the same.

“Shut up, dumbass.” Kageyama retorted softly, giving Hinata’s arm the slightest of squeezes.

They stopped at the side of the court, Yamaguchi following behind them with Hinata’s wheelchair balanced precariously in his arms. Kageyama carefully lowered him back down into the wheelchair before scooping up one of the stray balls from the floor and placing one in his lap. Hinata stared at it as if he’d never seen one before in his life.

“Hold onto this for me.” Kageyama said, jogging off with the rest of the team as practice resumed.

At first, Hinata was reluctant even to touch the ball. He just let it sit, trying his best to ignore its presence. However, as practice continued, he found his hands were drawn to it, fingers clenching around it when the ace made a particularly good spike, or Nishinoya dived for a tricky receive. Watching everyone play without him, seeing how much they’d improved in these few weeks he’d been absent, how they’d adapted to his lack of presence, it was painful. Hinata felt a tug in his gut, a pang as he saw them getting on without him. But, despite the pain he felt at not being able to play, he also felt something else, a fire that seemed to be inflamed by his teammates’ plays. He wanted to be out there, he wanted to play volleyball again. By the end of practice, he was gripping the ball as tightly as he could, trying to satisfy the itch to spike that was seeping into his fingers.

Kageyama made his way over to him, a smug look on his face, “Well?”

Hinata knew what he was saying without having to ask, “I want to play again.”

Kageyama stared hard at him, his earnest gaze making Hinata shift uncomfortably.

“I _will_ play again.” He added, “With you.”

His face immediately softened into that smile that Hinata adored so much, the smile seemed to take such little effort, and yet had such a big impact. Kageyama quickly bent down to place a peck on his forehead, “Of course we will.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what is plot


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kageyama has something important to say

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I FINALLY FINISHED IT  
> okay so this is my first actual complete chapter fic so excuse me if i'm a bit excited.  
> there is another chapter but it's very short and it's just an epilogue so this is technically the final chapter  
> thank you sooooo much for all of the comments, kudos, and bookmarks, i seriously did not expect this fic to do so well and it means so much to me that people actually liked it so yeah, thank you so much

Hinata showed up to practice a lot more after that. He wasn’t there all the time, of course, but he came as often as he could, and for Kageyama that was enough. He couldn’t get mad at Hinata for not coming to practice, not after everything he’d been through, but every day that he’d walked to the gym alone, dragging open the door with the pathetic tug of hope half-heartedly fluttering in his stomach, and feeling it evaporate when no blinding smile and wild orange ball of energy greeted him he couldn’t help but feel unsettled. It wasn’t the same without Hinata, nothing was.

Hinata’s determination to get better was evident, everyone saw that, but Kageyama had also seen the pain hidden behind his shining eyes when someone mentioned volleyball, or he saw his teammates in the hallways at school, even in the glances Hinata threw his way when he thought Kageyama wasn’t looking. Seeing Hinata in that kind of emotional turmoil was more painful than he could have imagined, and the strength of it surprised him a little. He’d tried talking to his senpais about it – blushing furiously all the while – but they’d just smiled sadly at him and shook their heads.

“That’s what happens when you love someone a lot, their pain becomes yours, and you find ways to fight it together.” Suga explained, glancing briefly at Daichi, who smiled back warmly.

“How do I…how do I make it better?” Kageyama asked

Daichi put a hand on his shoulder, “Talk to him.”

Kageyama’s cheeks immediately flared, “I-I’m not the best with words.” He muttered.

“Show him then.”

So he did. 

He showed him that, although he couldn’t play, although he was frustrated and upset and felt like he was fighting a losing battle, volleyball was always waiting. He showed him that although his teammates were getting stronger everyday he sat still, none of them thought any less of him, they all believed in him, and it was time Hinata started believing in himself once again.

At least, that’s what he’d tried to do. He wasn’t sure until he’d talked with him after practice, Hinata fidgeting with that volleyball he’d placed in his lap, eyes wide, cheeks pink as he’d muttered, _“I_ will _play again, with you.”_

It was hard to describe the feeling that one tiny sentence gave him. It felt like he was floating in a pool of water, his limbs light, his mind completely at peace, all anxieties and terrors completely washed away. He swore his heart pounded for days on end, and no matter how hard he tried the smile would not leave his face, not even when Hinata called him creepy and whacked him hard on the arm.

But there was still one more thing he had to do.

After their Friday evening practice, he went up to Hinata, who was in deep discussion with the coach, determined to ignore the nerves that seemed to be chewing his gut apart. He patiently waited until Hinata turned to him, smiling, and Kageyama noted with relief that there was no sadness in his expression today.

“Hinata, are you free?” Kageyama asked curtly, cursing how stiff his voice sounded.

“Yeah, I think so, why?” Hinata asked.

“W-will you come back to my house for a bit? I need to talk to you.” 

Hinata tipped his head ever so slightly to the side, his face a picture of confusion, but agreed all the same.

“Okay, let me get changed, wait here.”

He ran to the club room and got changed as hurriedly as he could, trying to urge his shaking fingers into buttoning up his shirt properly. He could feel the glances the rest of the team were giving him, but he did his best to ignore them, focusing instead on getting his pants on the right way round. 

He was about to leave when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Turning, he saw Sugawara, flanked by Tanaka and Nishinoya, all grinning fiercely and offering him a thumbs up.

“Good luck Kageyama.”

Kageyama spluttered, “W-what…h-how…?”

Suga just winked at him, “Call it a senpai’s intuition, now go, your boyfriend’s waiting.”

Blushing once again, Kageyama left the room, hearing Nishinoya call out “Ah, young love.”, and Tanaka mumble a complaint about his kouhais having a more active love life than he did before shutting the door. It was nice to have their support, he thought, even if their good luck wishes had somehow made him feel even more nervous than before.

But it was too late to back out now, no matter how much the thought terrified him, he was doing this. Even if he was scared, he owed it to Hinata, and to himself to see this through.

*** 

Kageyama was being nice and Hinata was very confused.

Yes, they were dating, but for them, normal was Kageyama calling Hinata a dumbass and then giving him a peck on the cheek, or offering a small sign of affection. Normally, when Hinata asked Kageyama to wheel his chair for a bit, he’d refuse, telling him that it was good for him to keep his arms working for when he came back to volleyball. So, naturally, when Kageyama had offered to wheel Hinata’s chair back to his house, Hinata began getting a little suspicious.

“What happened to me building up my arm muscles for more powerful spikes?” He queried.

“One day off won’t matter.” He said sullenly, shifting from foot to foot as if he was eager to get somewhere.

Hinata narrowed his eyes, “I can manage by myself, I’m not _that_ weak–” 

Kageyama rolled his eyes and pushed his chair forward suddenly. Hinata twisted around in the seat to glare at him, feeling a little flustered that _Kageyama_ of all people was pushing him with such ease.

“Hey! Kageyama, stop! I told you, I’m fine–” 

“Just let me do this.” He sighed. 

Hinata huffed, settling back in the seat and wondering what the hell had gotten into him. Was he ill? Did he have a fight with someone? Did he need comforting? If there was one thing he hated about their relationship, it was that he was incredibly bad at reading people, and Kageyama was far harder to read than anyone he knew. During volleyball, they completely understood one another, but outside of practice or games, Kageyama was an enigma to him, he never knew what made him sad or what made him happy. It’s not as if he wasn’t trying, he was desperate to understand what might be going on in Kageyama’s head, but a lot of the time it was pure instinct, and a lot of the time, Hinata got the feeling that he was doing something wrong.

Kageyama always seemed to know exactly what Hinata needed and when. He knew what made him tick, and it fascinated him how Kageyama could take one look at him and immediately suss out exactly what mood he was in. He wanted that kind of security, where he was so sure of the other’s emotions that he could decode them with a glance. But he also knew that it was a two-way street. Hinata was pretty open with his emotions, but Kageyama did his best to shut himself off from everyone, including Hinata himself. He was never going to get anywhere with figuring him out until Kageyama decided to trust him.

Hinata took in the view as they moved, and frowned, “This isn’t the way to your house.”

“We’re not going to my house.” Came the gruff reply.

“Well where are we going then?”

No answer.

He tried to ignore the nerves that pushed at his gut. 

They were next to river when Kageyama finally stopped. Hinata allowed himself to be lifted out of the chair and placed carefully on the grassy bank, facing the calm surface of the water. The sun was beginning its descent behind the hills, the bright yellow slowly burning away to a soft orange, the colours leaking onto the surface of the water like paint. The serenity and beauty of it all stunted his nerves a little, allowing him to relax as he heard Kageyama settle down next to him. 

Neither of them spoke. Normally, Hinata would be the first to break the silence, filling the vacuum of sound with his endless wittering, but this time something was different. He wasn't sure what it was exactly, but it was clear that Kageyama was up to something. Whenever Hinata glanced in his direction, his face was a mask of concentration, eyes narrowed into a glare that he knew meant that Kageyama was thinking, hard. Whatever it was, he wanted Kageyama to be the one to explain, for _him_ to be the one to offer the information to him rather than Hinata being the one to chase it.

After a few moments, Kageyama shifted beside him, reaching around and enclosing his hand around Hinata's. "Hinata." He began...and stopped.

Hinata looked at him, waiting patiently for him to continue, turning his palm upwards and interlocking their fingers together.

"Shit." He muttered, "Look, we both know that...I'm not very good with words, so here."

 He handed Hinata a worn leather-bound notebook that fit nicely in his hand. It felt heavy, despite its small size, the pages well used and the brown cover peeling off in places. 

"What is this? Is this yours?" He asked, unfolding his hand from underneath Kageyama's so he could open it.

"When you were in the hospital...the...the doctors said that I should talk to you...that you'd be able to hear me...or that it would help me cope or something...but I couldn't...so I wrote it down instead."

Hinata flipped through the pages in awe. Each page was filled with Kageyama's messy scrawl, lines upon lines of blue and black ink that voiced his every thought.

"I want you to read it." He finished.

"Are you sure?" Hinata asked, casting a sideways glance at Kageyama.

He nodded, evidently a little nervous but determined all the same, "They're for you."

Hinata flicked back to the first page and began to read.

 

_28.03.16_

_Hinata,_

_I miss you._

_29.03.16_

_Hinata,_

_We had a match with Nekoma today. We lost, of course. Kenma and Kuroo came the hospital to say hello. Kenma cried a little. I didn't really know what to do, but Kuroo took him home so I think he's okay._

_I tossed to you eight times during today's match. I counted._

 

_30.03.16_

_Hinata,_

_I didn't want to go to practice today. I love volleyball, but knowing that you wouldn't be there almost made me hate it. I kept thinking 'what's the point?'. I stood outside the gym for the longest time, debating whether or not to skip. Then I imagined what you'd say if you were with me, something along the lines of "you're not going to do it? Are you chickening out? Your teammates need you, stupid" and I managed to make it in time._

_I miss you so much._

 

The entries continued on and on, each one growing longer and longer and getting more and more intimate as they went. Kageyama stayed quiet by his side as he read, and Hinata was so proud. So proud of the fact that Kageyama had managed to gather up the courage to show this to him, so glad that he finally had the opportunity to see inside Kageyama's head. They were so beautiful, each letter touched his heart, and a part of him wondered if he really deserved this kind of attention.

He reached the last letter and risked a glance at Kageyama. He was watching him intently, face pulled into his default frown as he studied him carefully. He caught his gaze, and nodded, urging him to continue. Hinata looked back down at the letter. The writing was much messier on this page, almost illegible and covered in scribbles, so much so that he could barely read it at first. 

 

_9.04.16_

_Hinata,_

_I miss you. I miss you so much. I know I've said it so many times, but it's so true I can't stop myself. During games I'll look for you in the air, only to see it empty. At school I go to your classroom to ask if you want to eat lunch together, but your desk is empty too. Isn't it scary that I've grown so used to seeing you everywhere, that the minute you're gone I can't help but forget? I hate myself for doing it, but I can't help it. I'm so desperate to pretend everything is normal, that any minute you'll sit up and laugh at me for worrying about you. I miss your laugh. I don't think I ever told you this, but I love making you laugh. Your eyes scrunch up in the cutest way and you smile is just...breath-taking. I love your smile. I love your eyes, and the way they sparkle after our quick or even when they glare at me after I've said something stupid. I love your hands and the way they fit perfectly in mine. I love your hugs and your kisses and your cheesy promises. I love running home with you and kissing you when you get mad that I won, or you kissing me when you win. I love watching your favourite movies together, and you telling me pointless facts about it instead of letting me actually watch it. I love everything you do and it pisses me off, but I can't help but be drawn into your orbit. You are my all. I miss you. Please come back._

 

Hinata turned to Kageyama, teary-eyed and speechless, "Y-you..." He choked out.

"There's something that I realised I haven't ever said to you." He interrupted, taking the notebook out of Hinata's hands only to fill them with his own. He made sure to look Hinata right in the eye as he spoke, unblinking, unyielding, "I never understood how important it was for me to say until you weren't there anymore. The idea that you might...d-die...before I got to tell you was...terrifying. I would never have forgiven myself, so I'm going to say it now."

Hinata swallowed, already crying hard as Kageyama took his face in his hands and leaned their foreheads against one another. His thumbs rubbed soothing circles into his cheeks, wiping away tears as they fell. When he spoke, his voice was low, quiet, but there was no doubt in his voice, no doubt in Hinata's mind as he heard the words Kageyama was saying.

"I love you." 

Hinata kissed him. It only seemed right, after everything he'd read, after everything Kageyama had said, after weeks of neglecting one another, that they connect now. The kiss was long and deep, Hinata melting into Kageyama's lips, Kageyama welcoming him gratefully. He'd forgotten what it felt like, to have someone pressed against him like that, forgotten the tingling that shot down his spine and the pleasure that exploded through every fibre of his body as he wrapped his arms around Kageyama's neck and pulled him closer. All that mattered was him. His scent as Hinata breathed him in, his hands as they brushed his cheeks and folded into his hair, his lips pulsing against his own.

They broke apart gently, tentatively, Hinata resting his head against Kageyama's shoulder as he got his breath back, Kageyama leaning on Hinata's hair to do the same. Once their heartbeats had slowed and he slowly began to come back to reality, Hinata found himself laughing, hiccoughing and breaking down into a fit of manic giggles.

"Hinata? Are you okay." Kageyama's voice was tinged with worry as he pulled back and examined him at arm's length, "You're crying again."

"I-I'm crying with happiness you dummy." Hinata managed in-between fits of laughter, "Because I love you too."

Kageyama did his best to hide the blush, he really did, but Hinata was far too well-attuned to him by now for him to miss it.

"You're so weird." Was all he said, and this time Hinata did miss the smile Kageyama buried into to crown of his head.

"You love me anyway." Hinata replied, throwing his arms around Kageyama's waist and resting his head against his chest. He was so unbelievably happy, he felt like he could burst any minute. Everything was perfect, the calm swirling of the river beside them, the wind gliding around them, the sun slowly bleeding away above them...and Kageyama, right in front of him.

"Yeah, I really do."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr: me-no-owari


	6. Epilogue

Kageyama stood on the volleyball court, nerves twisting at his gut. This was it. They'd finally made it. Nationals, was something they'd all dreamed about, something they'd all desperately wanted to reach, and yet despite all that, none of them felt like any of this was real. Looking around, all they saw were strong teams, teams that had fought tooth and nail just like them to get to where they were now. Only one of them would emerge victorious, and each team was determined to make it theirs.

 There was a strangely quiet atmosphere among the team as they prepared for their first match. It could easily have been mistaken for nerves, but Karasuno knew better. They were nervous, of course, but their silence came from their determination to win, the resolve to become stronger, to beat the nerves and come out on top, despite everything that tries to stop you. They were ready. 

Kageyama took a deep breath, filling his lungs and slowly pushing the air out. He thought about everything they'd done to get here, all the practices and the matches won and the celebrations, but also the tears and the hardships...the losses...

He snapped himself out of his reverie, focusing instead on the match in front of them. Dwelling on past trails was never going to let him move forward. They were going to do this, and they were going to win, no matter what it took.

He turned to call behind him, "Are you coming, dumbass?" 

Hinata ran up behind him, tongue poking out between his teeth as he stepped onto the court, ready to win, "Let's do this."

They stepped onto the court together, moving forward into the next chapter of their story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a couple of notes about this whole fic that i feel are kind of important to share:
> 
> 1\. Hinata was in a coma for about 2 weeks, don't ask about the specifics of his injury because I literally have no idea. (it's written vaguely for a reason lol)  
> 2\. Karasuno lost that match against Shinzen high, which means that they didn't go to nationals that time. This chapter takes place the year after, so they're second years now.  
> 3\. Even when Hinata was able to walk again, the team wouldn't let him play in any matches or even practice properly with the rest of them until he was absolutely and completely healed (he probably practiced secretly by himself tho)  
> 4\. The match that this chapter sets up will be the first match Hinata plays since getting his injury.
> 
> that's all, hope you enjoyed :D

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr: haikyup


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